Actions > Words

Growing up in a desi household I noticed that my mom and dad were never into pda or the oh-so-mighty surprises or even the simple “I love you”. My aba was never vocal about the way he felt about my mom but I noticed that aba cared about my amma in so many other ways. He wasn’t into showering words but I could see it in his actions.

From my amma aba, I learnt it was always the tiny little things that mattered.

The way aba used to hold the door for her, used to wake me up and pack my bag and lunch while ama would make breakfast, the way he would give her his glasses when she couldn’t find hers, the way he would randomly put walnuts in her hand(because she loved walnuts) while watching tv, the way aba would bring her a different black embroidered dupatta every time he went to multan because she was crazy about them, the way he would save her a rus gullah and keep it aside for her, the way he would do all of these things without her asking.

There were never any thank you’s or any expectations of something in return but it was always two way.

I used to adore the way amma always knew which dress of hers was my aba’s favourite, how he liked his chai, how he craved for jalebi’s in rain, how he liked his eggs on weekdays and weekends!

What I liked even more was the way they both used to exchange glances and understand everything without a single word coming out of their mouth.

Call me orthodox but I learnt that although expressing to your partner is super important but it doesn’t mean anything if those words aren’t backed with actions.

Just a random Sunday thought!

Things 2019 taught me…..

I learnt this the hard way that,

– Mocca ki service is shit but their view is to die for

– always eat your dessert first but also save some for the end of the meal

– don’t let anyone tell you that what you believe in is stupid

– first impressions are usually fake

– trust vibes or what your gut tells you

– incase you’re wondering if the other person cares about you or not then they don’t because if they did you wouldn’t be wondering about it in the first place

– friendships change for better or for worse

– you can never guess anyone’s intentions, ever!

– dogs are better than cats

– choozay are better than dogs

– zindagi gulzaar bilkul bhi nahi hai

– ami abu k liyay saray bachay aik jaise nahi hotay. Naa. Bilkul galat baat hai.

– ichaar paratha is better than any fancy breakfast any given day

– you can’t plan things so don’t bother with that. Allah always has a better plan.

– sometimes you’re friends with someone from the university just because you meet them 6 days a week

– no one will ever love you the way your parents love you

– no one is perfect

– you cannot change someone until they want to

– oversharing is never good

– Tapal round teabags are bomb

– fruit sundae is better than chocolate sundae

– a quiet cup of tea with a loved one is better than a million fancy fake ass dinners

– breakfast dates are better than dinner dates

– warm hugs beat everything

– a compliment can make someone’s day so be generous with compliments

– sometimes just let things go for your own peace of mind

– look pretty and get away with murder

– respecting others go a long way

– make your peace of mind and happiness a priority

– change is difficult and it breaks you down in ways you can’t even imagine but then builds a new mosaic from all the shattered pieces

Marriage isn’t….!

We tie knots imagining marriage to be a life changing, happily ever after fairytale. What we forget is that, fairytales aren’t for real.

We believe and start expecting that the other person will make us happy and he’ll be this knight in shining armour who’ll fix everything but we forget that the other half is also human and has a job and friends and wants to live and enjoy life exactly the way we do, sometimes with us and sometimes with his friends.

Let’s stop imagining things, situations and people to be perfect and take the control of our happiness in our hands for its our happiness and he’s/she’s not responsible for that, let’s cut some slack to our better halves and be more emphathetic for the other one is just as human as us. Let’s choose our battles very carefully. Let’s vow to let it go sometimes.

My aba after my nikkah told me something that stuck with me, he said, “Don’t expect perfection in anything my child for only Allah ki zaat is perfect, accept each other’s faults and conceal those faults for each other in front of others, don’t use the excuse of “this is who I am” to be a shitty person but always be kind and let things go by sometimes for there will be far more important things in life to fight about rather than fighting about why he/she forgot to do something you asked him to do that morning.”


Do you think he loves you?

Have you ever been in a situation where you and your friends are sipping tea, and outta nowhere your friend asks you, “do you think he loves me?”

And you have no idea how to answer that, well let me break it down for you “If you’re not sure and you find yourself asking that question then girl, he doesn’t love you because if he did there would be no such questions! There wouldn’t be any space for doubt bo matter what. You wouldn’t have to ask this from your friends because sweetheart when a guy loves a girl, he makes sure she knows it!”

There won’t be a doubt! There’s gonna be no grey area! It’s a black and white sorta thing. He either loves you or he doesn’t! There’s no middle ground, I’m sorry.

And for guys, get your act together! If you love her put a ring on her otherwise stop wasting her time.

Are we officially the “na teetar na batair”?

I fail to understand what we are becoming, me included. It feels like from deep inside we want the sweet sweet emotions of pure and blissful love but we also want to pretend that we are not interested.

We want to feel the happy feelings and deny ourselves of the sad parts. Well, when will we understand that there is no happy part without the sad portion. There can’t be a rainbow without the rain.

We want to indulge in simple pleasures of life but yet we crave for materialistic things too!

We want to get what we wish for but we don’t want to get hurt, we need to understand k kuch paanay k liyay kuch khona bhi parta hai!

We want life partners but we are also looking for something with no strings attached!

We want someone to be there for us all the time but we are also scared of commitments.

We want someone to accept us exactly the way we are when we ourselves can’t come to terms with what we are from deep inside. You’ll have to accept that raw aura of yours before you expect someone else to accept that.

We want to be someone’s only priority but we also want to keep our options open!

We want to be with someone who doesn’t play games but we won’t stop playing games.



Log kehtay hein namaz parh k sakoon milta hai. Mjhy lgta hai k sakoon namaz parhnay se nahi milta balkay us ehsaas se milta hai yh jaan kr k koi zaat hai jo sunn rhi hai, jo bus hai, jb bhi pukaro wo sunti hai.

Sakoon us ehsaas mein hai yh jaan kr k koi hai jo hamesha sunta hai, hamesha sunta tha aur hamesha sunay ga.

Sakoon us ehsaas mein hai k jo bhi ho apki baat yhn se agay nhi jayay gi, wo bd mein baat moun par nahi maray ga, kamzor lamhe mein jitna bhi ro lo, jo marzi kh lo wo bd mein yaad nhi krwayay ga.

Sakoon toh us dua mein hai jismein ap kuch na bhi mango toh bus ro k e dil halka hojata hai aur bin mangay, bin kahay e wo sub smjh laita hai aur kunn kh daita hai.

Too busy: a myth or a reality?

I came to this conclusion recently that NO ONE and by no one, I mean NO ONE is too busy.

People will always find time for you if you mean something to them.

Someone can be “too busy” once in a while or maybe even twice but if it happens more than that, trust me darling…take the hint.

Oh and an additional pointer, don’t go around making these “too busy” people the priority in your life when you’re nothing but an option to them. Don’t do this to yourself. You owe this to yourself. I promise you’ll thank yourself later.

But who am I to tell you that. I know you won’t understand until you learn it yourself.

Play safe or take a risk?

So a week ago, I was watching cartoons (and yes I love watching cartoons although I might even be too old to say the word cartoons), but who cares. I was watching cartoons when one of my old school crush commented on one of my pictures.

I mean I hope I don’t have to explain what I felt. Haha.

I don’t know but I felt like the 14 year old girl again, I felt a rush, I could feel myself smiling and reading the comment over and over again.

Right at that time, something hit me(not physically but mentally), what if we are not getting things we have always wanted mainly because we have been so scared of losing at it that we have decided to settle for something average just because taking a risk was too risky for us.

I suddenly realised that I had been playing safe for so long that I had completely forgotten how good the rush of taking a risk felt. I had been so scared of getting hurt that I had somehow made myself believe that the rush wasn’t worth the pain.

It got me to thinking and I couldn’t decide which one is better?

Risking it or playing it safe?

Deciphering men: one step at a time S01E01

Not a very regular writer but I felt like writing my heart out today. I learnt something VERY basic today. SomethyI’ve been reading around for a bery long time but got to understand it just today.


Men love doing the chasing thing. Give them something to chase.

If you feel like you have to chase the guy all the time, call him to remind him of your existence, ask them to take care of you, let them know that you expect to be treated the way you treat them THEN LISTEN CAREFULLY AND HOLD ON TO WHAT I’M ABOUT TO TELL YOU:


It’s in their anatomy(I don’t know if it’s the right word to be used here) that they want the things they can’t have. They like getting something that’s hard to get, someone who isn’t there all the time, someone who keeps on calling and does everything without even being asked to do so.

If you think a guy will stay with you or love you more if you give him gifts(not saying that giving gifts is a bad thing), always make plans, decide everything for him, go out of your way to do things for him, drop all your plans just because he made a plan! NEWS ALERT: YOU’RE WRONG!

Stay in your aura, don’t give up your passion, give time to yourself, wait for him to call, be supportive if he’s busy with work, be there for him but don’t become a doormat!

Trust me ladies, a true man will always make an effort to be with you if he wants. Just note this down: IF A GUY WANTS YOU, HE’LL DO JUST ABOUT ANYTHING TO BE WITH YOU. I can swear on this theory. If he wants you he’ll manage his time, his friends, his family everything! But if he doesn’t want you he’ll make excuses.

Don’t ever depend on a guy who isn’t ready to walk atleast halfway to be with you. If you feel like it’s always you who’s making all the efforts and begging for time and attention then do yourself a favour, LEAVE. Ditch his ass. Trust me there are like a zillion gentlemen out there. You just have to look. It may take some time but trust me it’s better than waiting for someone who takes you for granted. Some people don’t realize what they had until it’s lost!